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Re: SELF INSURE to ELIMINATE LTC

Posted by Scott Olson on July 31, 2002 at 21:53:02:

In Reply to: SELF INSURE to ELIMINATE LTC posted by Concerned Friend on July 31, 2002 at 21:11:01:

Dear Concerned,

My wife and I took care of her father for 18 months after his stroke. We all lived together in one house... my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, my wife, my son, myself and our Jack Russell terrier. My father-in-law was completely paralyzed on his left side (due to the stroke) and was mildly cognitively impaired as well. My mother-in-law has suffered from diabetic complications, arthritis and heart problems for many years.

We had a home health aide, 12 hours per day, seven days a week to care for him. I was the home health aide at night. At night I'd give him his medicine, take him out of his chair in the living room where we would watch tv, put him in bed, change his diaper throughout the night, roll him over, etc...

It was very hard. A lot of work. A lot of stress. When a home health aide would quit or not show up, I'd be the 24-hour home health aide until we could find a replacement.

It was all very hard work, but I don't regret it one bit. I'm a better person because of it. I grew. My family grew. We grew stronger. We grew in love with each other. We matured.

Caregiving benefits the caregivers more than those who need the care. Being a caregiver helped me to realize what is really important in life. Even most importantly, my son, who was 9 at the time, saw some things that very few children today see: he saw a family sacrifing for each other, loving each other... he learned respect for elders and respect for the weak and disabled... he got a lot of life lessons in that 18 months that most adults don't get.

Unfortunately, Concerned, some people think they only have value if they are able-bodied. Some of the most precious, most valuable people on this earth are those who are disabled, who need care, who are cognitively-impaired.

How we treat those who need care is a reflection of who we really are...

Why do you think that you only have value when you are 'independent'?

It's not easy to admit that one day you may become dependent. It's easy to imagine your home damaged by fire or storm. It's hard to imagine yourself becoming dependent. Yet it's much more likely that you'll one day need long term care than for your home to ever be destroyed by fire or storm.

Studies have been done of those families who have 'let their loved ones pass on' as you have advocated. Most of those surveyed have regreted not doing all they could to care for their loved one.

I'm sure that nothing I've said will change your mind, but maybe I've helped someone else.

Scott A. Olson

Follow Ups:

Re: SELF INSURE to ELIMINATE LTC Concerned Friend 22:47:09 07/31/02 (15)
- Re: SELF INSURE to ELIMINATE LTC Scott Olson 23:12:58 07/31/02 (14)
  - Re: SELF INSURE to ELIMINATE LTC Independent Thinker 23:25:25 07/31/02 (13)
    - Re: SELF INSURE to ELIMINATE LTC Scott Olson 07:56:45 08/01/02 (12)
      - Whose choice is it? Wally 12:55:29 08/01/02 (11)
        
        THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE Concerned Independent 20:41:12 08/01/02 (10)
        
        Re: THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE bluemarlin08 19:53:52 08/02/02 (7)
        
        YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT Concerned Independent 13:03:34 08/04/02 (6)
        
        Re: YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT bluemarlin08 17:31:35 08/04/02 (5)
        
        THAT'S THE TRUTH curator 911 museum.com 18:17:29 08/04/02 (4)
        
        Re: THAT'S THE TRUTH Becki Fahle 18:14:27 09/02/02 (0)
        
        Re: THAT'S THE TRUTH bluemarlin08 18:32:04 08/04/02 (2)
        
        THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID Dbl. Aaaaaaaack 19:21:26 08/08/02 (1)
        
        Re: THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID sue 03:33:55 10/10/02 (0)
        
        Re: THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE bluemarlin08 19:50:22 08/02/02 (0)
        
        Re: THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE bluemarlin08 19:50:21 08/02/02 (0)

Re: SELF INSURE to ELIMINATE LTC : Dear Concerned, : My wife and I took care of her father for 18 months after his stroke. We all lived together in one house... my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, my wife, my son, myself and our Jack Russell terrier. My father-in-law was completely paralyzed on his left side (due to the stroke) and was mildly cognitively impaired as well. My mother-in-law has suffered from diabetic complications, arthritis and heart problems for many years. : We had a home health aide, 12 hours per day, seven days a week to care for him. I was the home health aide at night. At night I'd give him his medicine, take him out of his chair in the living room where we would watch tv, put him in bed, change his diaper throughout the night, roll him over, etc... : It was very hard. A lot of work. A lot of stress. When a home health aide would quit or not show up, I'd be the 24-hour home health aide until we could find a replacement. : It was all very hard work, but I don't regret it one bit. I'm a better person because of it. I grew. My family grew. We grew stronger. We grew in love with each other. We matured. : Caregiving benefits the caregivers more than those who need the care. Being a caregiver helped me to realize what is really important in life. Even most importantly, my son, who was 9 at the time, saw some things that very few children today see: he saw a family sacrifing for each other, loving each other... he learned respect for elders and respect for the weak and disabled... he got a lot of life lessons in that 18 months that most adults don't get. : Unfortunately, Concerned, some people think they only have value if they are able-bodied. Some of the most precious, most valuable people on this earth are those who are disabled, who need care, who are cognitively-impaired. : How we treat those who need care is a reflection of who we really are... : Why do you think that you only have value when you are 'independent'? : It's not easy to admit that one day you may become dependent. It's easy to imagine your home damaged by fire or storm. It's hard to imagine yourself becoming dependent. Yet it's much more likely that you'll one day need long term care than for your home to ever be destroyed by fire or storm. : Studies have been done of those families who have 'let their loved ones pass on' as you have advocated. Most of those surveyed have regreted not doing all they could to care for their loved one. : I'm sure that nothing I've said will change your mind, but maybe I've helped someone else. : Scott A. Olson

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